Does Having A Family Mean Losing My Identity?

My seven year old stepdaughter has taken a sudden interest in learning about me. She just recently began asking me all sorts of random questions about myself. What embarrassing things have happened to me? What are my hobbies? What's my favorite thing to eat? Emily's question and answer series has made me realize that I don't know much about myself anymore!

I tried to think back to when I was most myself. I don't know. I was shy and awkward growing up. In high school I always managed to have a friend or two from the popular crowd or the cool crowd that gave me just enough confidence to be somewhat outgoing with people. In college, when there weren't as many social pressures, I gained even more confidence, but still managed to mold myself to whatever was going on around me. I moved to Maine, endured two serious relationships, briefly dated several guys that were totally wrong for me, and finally settled down with my husband and started a family.

My husband has NOT lost his identity. He hunts, fishes, sees his "buddies" frequently, and falls asleep on the couch watching TV. I, on the other hand, work, clean, cook, keep the kids busy, and sleep. Where did I go? What do I like to do for fun? It is not Hal's fault that I've completely ignored myself, but it is his duty to help me as I regain my identity.

This year I am going to rediscover myself! I have started by going to the movies on a Thursday night with my girlfriends, reconnecting with old friends on Facebook, sewing, and drinking wine with friends on a Saturday evening, all while my husband handles everything! Talk about liberating!!! I encourage every woman who has completely devoted herself to nurturing everyone around her to stop and make sure that she's not disappearing.

Goodbye Winter!

Spring Cleaning/Organizing Extravaganza 2009

This winter has been a long one. Having lived in Utah and Montana prior to moving to Maine, I figured I was accustomed to a good snowy winter. Well, I was wrong. After a winter full of freezing rain, Nor' Easters bringing 16-24 inches of snow per storm, and days on end of 0 degree temperatures I have never welcomed spring so openly!

Unfortunately, under all of the snow lies the yard that did not happen to be tended to before all of the snow came. I once heard my husband say "you worry about the inside honey and I'll take care of the outside." I reminded him of this statement and, thankfully as I type, he is outside cleaning out the garage and coming up with a strategy on how to reclaim our yard.

My inside job of organizing has been going on for the seven years that I've lived in this house. Roommates have come and gone, I've added a husband, two kids, and the woman I care for, which all means a lot of stuff to keep track of! I am proud to say that during this long winter I have managed to clean out every single drawer, closet, and cabinet in the entire house. I am the queen of "Clean Sweeping" and I finally feel as though I am nearing the enlightened state of being an organized person.

Unless I add a major addition to our house, there are no other possible spaces to store things. I still have those nagging items that just don't seem to belong anywhere. Since the addition is a five year plan I have decided to tackle round two of my organizing frenzy and focus on more efficiently storing all of the items that I have decided are worthy of staying in the house. I'm off to browse the online wonder store so called "The Container Store." http://www.containerstore.com/

How Many Times Can I Say "Blog" in this blog?

Whoa! I had no idea that I was going to get sucked into the world of html tags and layout design when I decided to begin blogging. It all started when I was reading my friend Jenn's blog (the first blog I've EVER really read!) Her blog is so full of life! She has a great template, fun "blogs," and many pictures posted. Upon returning to my blog, I felt like I was looking at a bowl of oatmeal. Needless to say, I spent two hours last night reading how-to articles and searching for blog templates.

I went to bed at 11:00 pm and instantly fell deep into the dream world of blogs! I was trying to blog every thought in my dream. I was picturing layout boxes and kept rearranging the boxes, as if I was playing Tetris, to make them fit just right on my blog. It was crazy! I woke up repeatedly throughout the night and kept telling myself that my blog was just fine and did not need any more attention!

Today was a fresh start and I had much more success finding a template. I also figured out how to make a picture mosaic (an idea I stole from Jenn's blog!) I did manage to tear myself away from my computer for most of the day to have lunch with Hal's family and shop for the girl's Easter dresses. I started looking online for the dresses yesterday and I decided to force myself to go into one store and buy them without researching every store I could think of and agonizing over which dresses were the cutest. After all, I don't have as much time to think about that kind of thing now that I have blogging to dream about!

Really, Another Blog?

Ever since I quit my job last summer, my mind has been spinning out of control. At first I had so much information stored that I no longer needed. After a few months of restless nights full of the strangest dreams, I've seemed to let it all go. Whew!

The release of all of this information has left room in my brain for a large variety of new, wandering, and aimless thoughts, ideas, and day dreams!

I've finally decided that a blog just might be the perfect outlet for me. What a great way to sound off all of the randomness happening between my ears!

Here it goes, my first official blog entry:

I Need Some Focus!

I'm obsessed. What do I want to be when I grow up? Do we want to stay in this house, or is it time to move on? I need a bigger tent. I want to go on a road trip, a cruise, and make it back to Utah to spend time with my family. The girls need Easter dresses and swimsuits. What party theme should I go with for the girl's birthdays next month? I want to tear out the ugly bush in the front yard. Where do I stop?

Since being home full-time, I admit that I have much more time to think about all of these things. After I think about all of this stuff I feel guilty that I'm not thinking about more important things. Should I volunteer somewhere? I MUST finish college! I need to do more to help the environment. I feel ignorant about the big world around me. How am I going to make a positive mark?

I love my computer! I research all of the above topics and many more on a regular basis. I have decided that I am destined to use my computer to do whatever it is I am going to do. While this realization has provided a sense of focus for me, it has also opened a huge can of worms!

I plan to use this blog to keep track of the ideas that I've had and the solutions that I've come up with. I am not going to worry about what I write making sense or mattering to anyone else, but please feel free to add your two cents to anything I post!

I have to stop typing now. I could go on forever!