Does Having A Family Mean Losing My Identity?

My seven year old stepdaughter has taken a sudden interest in learning about me. She just recently began asking me all sorts of random questions about myself. What embarrassing things have happened to me? What are my hobbies? What's my favorite thing to eat? Emily's question and answer series has made me realize that I don't know much about myself anymore!

I tried to think back to when I was most myself. I don't know. I was shy and awkward growing up. In high school I always managed to have a friend or two from the popular crowd or the cool crowd that gave me just enough confidence to be somewhat outgoing with people. In college, when there weren't as many social pressures, I gained even more confidence, but still managed to mold myself to whatever was going on around me. I moved to Maine, endured two serious relationships, briefly dated several guys that were totally wrong for me, and finally settled down with my husband and started a family.

My husband has NOT lost his identity. He hunts, fishes, sees his "buddies" frequently, and falls asleep on the couch watching TV. I, on the other hand, work, clean, cook, keep the kids busy, and sleep. Where did I go? What do I like to do for fun? It is not Hal's fault that I've completely ignored myself, but it is his duty to help me as I regain my identity.

This year I am going to rediscover myself! I have started by going to the movies on a Thursday night with my girlfriends, reconnecting with old friends on Facebook, sewing, and drinking wine with friends on a Saturday evening, all while my husband handles everything! Talk about liberating!!! I encourage every woman who has completely devoted herself to nurturing everyone around her to stop and make sure that she's not disappearing.